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Domestic Violence

 

Women Aware Inc.

www.womenaware.net

  

I. SAFETY DURING AN ARGUMENT
bulletIf an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
bulletPractice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best.
bulletHave a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
bulletIdentify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
bulletDevise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
bulletDecide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to).
bulletUse your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he/she wants to calm them down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
bulletAlways remember --YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE THREATENED OR HIT.

II. SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE

bulletOpen a savings account in your own name to start to establish your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
bulletLeave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothing with someone you can trust so you can leave quickly.
bulletDetermine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you money.
bulletKeep the shelters phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
bulletReview your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safety way to leave your batterer. REMEMBER -- LEAVING YOUR BATTERER IS THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME.

III. SAFETY WITH A RESTRAINING ORDER

bulletKeep your restraining order on you at all times. When you change your purse or wallet that should be the first thing that goes in it.
bulletCall the police if your partner breaks the restraining order.
bulletThink of alternative ways to keep safe until the police respond.
bulletInform family, friends, and neighbors that you have a restraining order in effect.

IV. SAFETY IN YOUR OWN HOME

bulletChange the locks on all your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devises to secure your windows.
bulletDiscuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
bulletInform your children's school, day care, etc. about who has permission to pick them up.
bulletInform neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him/her near your home.

V. SAFETY ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC

bulletDecide whom at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security.
bulletProvide that person with a picture of your batterer if possible.
bulletArrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible
bulletDevise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus, or train. Use a variety of routes to go home by if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home (i.e., in your car, on the bus, etc.). Have a plan in mind.

VI. YOUR SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH

bulletIf you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
bulletIf you have to communicate with your batterer, determine the safest way to do so.
bulletHave positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
bulletRead books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger.
bulletDecide whom you can call to talk freely and openly with, to give you the support you need.
bulletPlan to attend a victim support group for at least two weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.

VI. IF YOU ARE A TEEN IN A VIOLENT DATING RELATIONSHIP

bulletGet help from someone you trust, preferably an adult.
bulletEnd the relationship and choose not to see your partner.
bulletContract your counseling center at school.
bulletInform your parent(s) of the situation.
bulletCall 1-800-572-SAFE (7233) for referral to a local support program.

 

CHECK LIST
SUGGESTED ITEMS YOU MIGHT
NEED TO TAKE WHEN YOU LEAVE

Identification Driver's License Children's birth certificate Your birth certificate
Money Social Security card Bank Books Checkbooks
Green card Passport Insurance Papers House and car keys
Medications Address book Lease, rental agreement, house deed Medical records for family
Welfare identification Work permits Divorce papers Welfare identification
Jewelry Children's small toys Small salable objects Pictures
     

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS AND OPTIONS, contact an advocate at your local police department, court, or one of the following numbers:

STATE WIDE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

(24 HOUR TELEPHONE SERVICE)

(SERVICIO TELEFONICO - LAS 24 HORAS)

(Confidential, bilingual, TDD-accessible)

(SE HABLA Espanol)

1.800.572.SAFE (1.800.572.7233)

 

BATTERED WOMEN'S SHELTERS: (24-HOUR NUMBER)

(SERVICIO TELEPHONICO - LAS 24 HORAS) (Se habla Espanol)

Mercer County 609.394.9000

Middlesex County 732.249.4504

Somerset County 908.685.1122

 

MIDDLESEX COUNTY

Women Aware Outreach Program (9AM - 4 PM) 732.937.9525

Women's Information Referral: (24 hour HOTLINE) 1.800.322.8902

New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault 732.418.1354

Division On Women, Office of Prevention of Violence Against Women 609.292.8840

New Jersey Coalition For Battered Women  609.584.8107

New Jersey Department of Health

Rape Care Program 609.984.6137

 

ELDERLY VICTIMS OF BATTERING:

Elder Adult Protective Services  732.745.3635

Office on Aging  732.745.3295

 

CHILD ABUSE -- DIVISION YOUTH FAMILY SERVICES

Monday-Friday (9:00 AM-4: 00 PM) 732.324.1700

After hours and weekends 1.800.792.8610

 

SERVICES FOR MEN WHO BATTER:

Mercer County   609.394.5156

Middlesex County  732.257.6100

 

The above information was provided by South Brunswick Police Department

Copyright 2013 Middlesex Borough Police Department
 
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